Wow. Ok so it seems like once a year I have to have my friend Glen come over and wipe out my hard drive and start from scratch with my computer and re-install everything. That’s whats happening today. Ugh. Not the most fun I’ve ever had a Friday night , that’s for sure.  Haha. I at least have my laptop to do some other work on…like…my blog!  lol. I am soooo not  able to play this weekend. I have to attend a legal workshop in the morning and then buy Halloween candy at the last minute hahah. I have been FAR too busy lately BUT hey at least I am getting stuff done right?  I had to post this pic up because I thought it was funny. THIS is what happens when you ex is your best friend and comes to visit hahaha

Last nights live chat on the site was so much fun! It was a really great turn out and I am looking forward to the next one! Today a HOT new pic update went up of me and my friend jelena jensen that was shot in my actual bedroom, not some  fake “set”. It was a LOT of fun and I am getting a lot of great feedback on it. Log in to the mebers area and check it out! xoxoxo

It’s Wednesday folks. That means we are halfway through the week. Halloween week at that! I am really looking forward to catching up and having fun in my live chat/cam tonight on my site. I hope you can all make it. I just got a bunch of new outfits for upcoming shoots for my site and I am going to wear one of them for you tonight. I mean…not that they stay on that long anyhow but hey…it’s a good place to start hahaha. See you tonight!

Today has been and still is a busy day of errand running and bill paying and budgetting and scheduling and what not. I went and got a pedicure for the week of cam stuff ahead. There’s some exciting news coming on my site BUT I think I will make you wait another day before the announcement. tee hee xoxox

Hey folks. I just put a video update on my site of me in my kitchen playing with sorts of goodies and sweets . Definitely worth logging in and checking out. I am shooting all weekend and then a live chat on Monday! woohoo.

Today has already been a hell of a Monday and it’s not even noon! Wow it’s amazing what happens when you start to call people on their bullshit. People that you’ve paid multi thousands of dollars to that have not done even a 20% of what they said they would do….and refuse to refund even a portion of what you paid them. It’s all good. This is all a part of cleaning house and clearing out the bullshit from life right? I’ve eliminated family members that I should have a looooong time ago but kept them in my life because they are “family”. Uh uh. No way. If someone is really abusive or toxic for you then…KNOW THIS My friends. Blood or no blood we need to get rid of all of the negative and the toxic out of our lves. If you don’t then all of  that stress and unhappiness and deciet that they throw at you for a lifetime and in my case abuse as well…well..it can literally manifest into physical diseases. Trust me on that. I know what I am talking about. We all seem to accept too many things in our lives that we shouldn’t. Stop lowering the bar. RAISE the bar and the standards to which people must reach to be a part of your life and world. Friendships, love, work relationships ,family “relationships”…those are gifts. Its great to be there for the people that we love but we can’t keep doing that with people that aren’t facing their own shit and are using us to clean up their messes or cover their bullshit. No more folks. I consider today a very powerful day to a very powerful turning point and a head start to a very powerful week. I hope you ALL take the bull by the horns today and everyday. If you found out tomorrow that you might not live but another year or so then would you still be living your life the way that you are? I’m willing to bet that the answer would be HELL NO. Take that and apply it to your present day life. We all need to get our priorities straight. We all need to be LIVING more from our hearts and our spirits. We are all here walking a very personal journey. Sometimes holding onto things of the past can keeop you STUCK in just that…the PAST.  We all need to shine our lights and spread our wings and start really living our own personal truths and journey’s. It feels good to get rid of the riff raff.

I hope that everyone is having a great Sunday. Sunday is my favorite day of the week.  I am chilling watching a movie while working on the laptopand cooking up some food. I have to send out a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend Blu!!!! I also wanted to say that I look forward to seeing all of you site members in my live cam show and chat tonight!!! I  found a picture set that got lost and never put up on my site. It will be a bonus REALLY soon !!

Wow. It’s been a whole week since I’ve written in my blog which is unusual for me but the reason why is huge in itself. I can’t unfortunately discuss it publicly however because it’s just too big of a thing…and far too serious for the business that I am in. haha. Ugh. Ok that being said I hope that anyone reading this is having a wonderful day. Even the shitty ones can end up being good in the end. The really seemingly bad stuff in life can be quite transforming in the end. I’ve been having to remind myself that a lot lately.  I was reading a great book called “the Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I highly recommend it to any human being on this planet.

 ”Change my perception of environment and my reality can be changed . Renew your life with YOUR beliefs”.

so very very very true

xoxoxxo

Love to anyone reading this

Today is Wednesday…or as the corny people like to call it “humpday”. It’s a big and busy week as so many of them are lately. This month is one of the busiest for me for so many reasons but I am remarkably at peace for some reason. I think because I know that I have such wonderful people in my life and such wonderful things on the horizon once all of this madness is over. I have been thinking a great deal lately. I know. I always am in my head…BUT…even more than usual lately.  I am cleaning house on so many levels. I’ve always been pulled in 1,000 diferent directions by so many people and things at one time.  At my most busiest and stressful time in life ( the past few years but especiialy right now) I have gotten a lot of bullshit from even some of my oldest and dearest friends because I haven’t called them or had time to shoot the breeze. The way that people project and respond with such a lack of understanding or trust and faith in me and our bonds, has shown me a lot about what I don’t want in my life anymore. I think sometimes we go through monumental changes in our life and it’s hard for us to let go of the past and people that have been there for so long. They are like family and in many cases ARE family. The thing is…a lot of times those people and those relationships can be toxic in really subtle ways as well the big and obvious ones. In other ways and other relationships they can keep us stuck in a certain place or time or way of thinking that we need to break away from simply because of our subconcious.  People need to be free to be themselves without restraints, judgment and bullshit. If you love and care about someone on any level then just be there and enjoy the moments that you have together in life. Life is hard enough without creating more problems with our own thoughts. Focus on who you want to be and what you DO have, not how you lack or what don’t have.  If someone is unhealthy for you then stay away entirely or at least at a safe distance. It’s kind of like a drink I suppose. Many people in our lives are like that. One or two doses are fine but the entire bottle is not so great for us and repetative over drinking can lead to huge problems. Those are the people tha you keep in your life but at a safe distance. Then there’s hard drugs. They kill you slowly as long as you have them in you rlife. Let those people go.  You can’t change your life unless you change the energy you are allowing in it. We all need to start taking better care of ourselves and that’s the first place to start.  Nourish yourselves and your spirits in every way and YES that does include your sexuality people. Just be who you are and be kind to yourselves. BELIEVE that you DO deserve EVERYTHING that you want and start going for it. Be patient and just…..believe. At the end of the day all we have is ourselves. We come in this world alone and we leave it alone. The people we love and bond with along the way are bonuses. We are all on individual journey’s with individual tests, struggles, grwoth rates and triumphs along the way. We are not ever going to be growing at the exact same rate as another human being and in the exact same ways. That’s why marraiges and relationships of any kind…even friendships don’t always last. It’s mathmatically impossible. Stop blaming each other. Stop blaming yourselves/ourselves, and just ….live your life and enjoy your journey. Be the best person that you can be at any given moment under your own life circumstances. Be as honest as humanly possible. You can’t have any kind of a real relatonship with anyone without knowing who they truly are and them knowing who you truly are. If you get hurt or even dsimanteled along the way…which you will and most probably have, keep opening up. Keep diving in. Keep believing in yourself and that you deserve EVERYTHING that you desire…because you truly do.

Don’t forgot about my NON silly side though hahah. I mean it IS kind of important for my job hahahahhahah